We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.

Fetal Alcohol vs. Snickerdoodles

Spring break is over. It was time to tackle the activities in my previous post Coping with Unplanned School Closings. Miss Bee chose to bake. Piece of cake, I love baking. Baking is our school closure math.

Our math infused baking activity became a three-day challenge. It was frustrating to be defeated by an elegant little cookie. After a week of idleness cooped up in the house, this was predictable. We had plans to travel for spring break that we had to cancel. I kept trying to fire up Miss Bee’s synapses before online school began. It didn’t matter which activity we attempted first; the result would have been the same.

Day 1 – Evening Preparations

As Sunday drew to a close, I reminded Miss Bee that we would be working on several activities beginning Monday morning. Success in our world depends on advanced notice, prepping, and reminders. Miss Bee got to choose what to tackle first. Giving her some control sets her up for success. She selected baking cookies. Next, she decided on snickerdoodles. Not all of my spices moved to Florida. I made sure that we had Cream of Tartar. Operation snickerdoodles was a go.

Miss Bee and I collaborated on the time to begin our baking lesson. She selected 9:00 am. Off to bed, she went.

Day 2 – Monday Morning

Operation snickerdoodles were about to begin. At 8:53 am, I received a call from a nurse coordinator. Miss Bee’s new pediatrician referred us to a developmental pediatrician in Jacksonville. The timing of this call was terrible. I had only five minutes to answer her questions. Answering these questions was second nature, I would motor through them as quickly as possible.

 

The coordinator was originally from California. She was well acquainted with the developmental disabilities services we left. She was also a wealth of knowledge about the services available in Florida. I hit paydirt and accumulated two pages of notes, including contacts and phone numbers. The call lasted an hour. Unfortunately, obtaining this helpful information had consequences.

By the time the call ended an hour later, I had lost my audience. Miss Bee was unable to cope with the delay. Most of the time, I put her needs first; however, there are times when I cannot. She was agitated, and I knew better than to push her. I suggested that we bake after lunch. After lunch, it was not any better. I could not coax Miss Bee back to the kitchen. We were not off to a good start. We gave up for the day and made a plan to try again tomorrow.

Day 2- Tuesday Morning

We got off to a good start. I handed Miss Bee my recipe notebook opened to the dessert section. Step one was for her to find the snickerdoodle recipe. The bellyaching began. “I can’t find it, I can’t read the words, this is too hard.” I ignored her and patiently waited.

Miss Bee found the recipe then began complaining that she was too tired to bake. Dramatic yawning began. Once again, I ignored her and moved to the next step. One-by-one, Miss Bee located the ingredients. The nasty comments and cursing commenced, and her attention span was gone. It was time to cut our losses again and take a break. We would try again later.

All afternoon I tried to coax Miss Bee back into the kitchen. Giving her a hard time for something she can’t help does not change or fix anything. It is up to me to adjust as needed. Some days I can go with the unpredictable flow, and other days the best I can do is cut my losses and try again. We put the perishables back in the fridge and called it a day.

Accommodating Inflexible

Fetal alcohol syndrome often causes fun and simple activities to go awry. I need to continually read Miss Bee’s mind, body language, and mood. As inflexible her brain is, I need to be as flexible as Gumby. Spontaneous moments are rare. Accommodating Miss Bee’s inability to adapt requires modifications constantly behind-the-scenes.

Day 3 – Wednesday

Miss Bee woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Her irritability level was through the roof. Being stuck in the house for two weeks was taking its toll. Miss Bee has female classmates in her new school. Most of her classes in California were either all-boys or one or two girls. Having girlfriends has been a positive change since we moved.

A pandemic occurs, and she is no longer able to hang out with her new friends. Fortunately, Miss Bee is not a fan of television. Her exposure to the news is limited. I explain as little as possible for her to try and understand. The effort is in vain. Miss Bee is unable to comprehend the gravity and danger caused by an invisible foe. She believes that the limitations in place to keep us all healthy and safe are my own decisions. In her mind, I am the enemy keeping her from her friends.

We did not try to bake the rest of the morning. Miss Bee retreated to her room for a couple of hours. After lunch, there was an attitude adjustment, and we tried again.

Three’s a Charm

One-by-one, I read the ingredients and measurements, and Miss Bee executed. Three cups of flour, check. A teaspoon of vanilla, check. What a difference a couple of days made. We hummed along without complaint. Miss Bee pleasantly surprised me with some understanding of measurements. Baking is math made fun.

Although baking a batch of cookies was not supposed to take three days, we worked on Miss Bee’s timeframe, and we were successful. I did not give up on this lesson. Giving up is rarely an option. The goal is to be successful however we can manage.

While thinking about what we could have done differently or what might have been more successful, I realized that the flexibility and time we now have being home led to a natural chunked math and adaptive skills lesson.

Baking is Math

Modifying the plan as needed, worked. When Miss Bee becomes agitated and tries to avoid what she thinks is too hard we use a workaround. There were no meltdowns. Miss Bee’s timeframe was just right.

The snickerdoodles were delicious. Baking is school closure math and so much more. FAS lost, and mom won.

For more information about FASD, please check out my post What is Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)?