Shining a Spotlight 

Welcome to my blog. I understand brain-based disabilities because my two children live with the invisible FASD.    FASD takes families down a long,hard road. Most medical professionals and educators have little to no training in this neurodevelopmental disorder. It is difficult to be understood when most appointments are spent teaching the doctor! Sharing our story is meant to help parents following in my shoes.

Traditional Parenting – Not

After years of parent fails I learned that I needed a different approach. Traditional parenting  was tossed out the window. The white picket fence was kicked to the curb. Our “family dogs” are two life-changing service dogs. My parenting “handbook” is FASD informed, wacky, and SO much better for us.

Despite the huge risk, we have traveled international. We traveled from Los Angeles to Greece. We clocked twenty hours of fly time with stops in Canada and Germany over five hundred thousand time zones. Our service dog and my nephew, tagged along. Success for my family was measured by the number of meltdowns (0) and photos with a smiling teen (many).

A Little Background

I am a Jersey girl born and raised. I fell in love with the Golden State on vacation. After college, I traded in hurricanes, humidity, and winter coats for earthquakes, droughts, and hoodies. “Down the shore” became “to the beach.” Whopper storms with human names were replaced with wildfires, mudslides, and Santa Ana winds. California is a fun state!

Go Bruins

UCLA was my second home for twenty-nine years. I worked with the oldest student physicians and the youngest first-years. My last three years were spent in Residential Life.  I learned so much about social justice, inclusion, and diversity.

Alaska Called and “Mom” Happened

During the summer of 1998, I went spent my summer vacation working.  I was a camp counselor for Easter Seals. Campers traveled to Palmer near Anchorage from all over Alaska. Whitewater rafting down a glacial river with a wheelchair on board was terrifying and thrilling. I was the only counselor from the lower forty-eight. The campers loved my LA knowledge and treated me like a rock star.  

After Alaska, I impulse called the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services.  A segment about foster children waiting to be adopted made my fingers do the dialing. Shortly after, I completed the classes and home study and became a foster parent. After two short-term newborn placements, I became Mac came home.

Miss Bee Arrives

Three and a half years later, we welcomed Miss Bee to our family. 

FASD Reality

FASD affects one out of every twenty children. Yet, few medical professionals and educators are FASD informed. No amount of alcohol during any time in the pregnancy is safe – EVER! FASD is a neurological disorder.  Alcohol permanently damages the developing brain and other organs.  This type of damage does not heal, it will never get better, and the challenges last a lifetime. 

Our Life

Raising a child with an invisible disability is challenging but I refuse to live like a hermit.  Doing what we love especially traveling, requires different strategies and modifications, often on the fly.  I have also learned to adjust my expectations. Supervision, supervision, supervision is my mantra. 

Service Dogs are Lifesavers

Both of my children have amazing service dogs.  They are a blessing for our family.  Ned and Raven frequently appear in my posts.  Our dogs are from  4 Paws for Ability in Xenia Ohio.  They trained as FASD assistance dogs. The tasks they perform is based on their child’s needs.

Our Story Continues in Florida

In January 2020, we loaded up the truck and moved from sea to shining sea. St Augustine, in northeast Florida is our home. We arrived just in time for the global pandemic. It has been a wild ride.

Our Story

Shining a spotlight on invisible disabilities by sharing our story, we can help other families. Stay tuned for my tips, tricks, and strategies to live a fun, quality life. 

For more information regarding FASD check out:

What is Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)

It Takes a Village to Raise Children with FASD