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Visiting Family and Fun Stuff

How was I going to travel to Florida to help my parents with a special needs grumpy teenager in tow? As the oldest sibling and executor of my parent’s affairs, I needed to be there in person to take care of legal paperwork, purge and consolidate their belongings, and check on their medical care. My youngest sister has a developmental disability and she lives near our parents. I also needed to meet her care providers and understand her services. We took care of my family obligations while on vacation.

None of these tasks were going to be much fun for my daughter Miss Bee. Boredom would have set in after twenty minutes and the nagging “are you done yet” would have been incessant. Miss Bee needs constant supervision and she is unable to entertain herself for more than a few minutes – all issues related to her disabilities. I devised a plan to make this work for all of us. My solution was to include several vacation days, bring an adult family friend, and our service dog. They are the most important tools in my traveling bag of tricks.

A Friend Who is Family

Judy is a family friend who is willing and happy to travel with my family. I tell her all the time that she is nuts but I am grateful for her help. Ned makes airline travel possible. He has an incredibly important job. Before we got Ned, flying was miserable for Miss Bee. Her anxiety ramped up so much that she often vomited before the plane left the gate. We avoided trips that required flying as much as possible for many years.

On the first flight home from training for Ned, Miss Bee fell asleep for the entire flight thanks to the pressure from his weight on her feet and his body leaning on her legs.  This deep pressure is like a warm weighted blanket. Being able to fly once again, was huge.

We rented a Toyota Siena minivan. There was plenty of room for our luggage in the back and a nice big open space on the floor behind the driver’s seat for Ned. Ned did not impede foot space for the middle row occupants. This enabled us to move about with my parents in one vehicle. Since most of our time would be spent with my parents, we traveled to and from Tampa.

My parents have three adorable Pomeranian fur puffs but they don’t like other dogs and Ned is not a fan of small dogs. We could have made it work staying in my parent’s home, it wasn’t ideal for Miss Bee after a long day of travel. Instead of staying with my parents after we met for dinner, we spent our first night in a quiet hotel.

Road Trip to the Florida East Coast

We hit the road early the next day to begin our road trip across Florida to visit my friends who live near Jacksonville (east coast). We drove the scenic route because the travel time was not much longer. The two-lane country roads were empty and lovely.  I was expecting to drive through swamps instead, we rode through the rural farming countryside. The Spanish moss that hung from the trees was the only sign that we were in the South. We stopped at a roadside stand to pick up a few Florida inspired treats.  The citrus bins were works of art.

Vacation in a St Augustine Suburb

Longtime friends of mine recently retired to Florida to ditch long, cold winters. We met twenty-five years ago at UCLA. We stayed in their lovely new home. They even had a space set up for Ned. This area of Florida is beautiful and mostly undeveloped. Well, my perspective might be a little off since I live among five million people in a huge city. It was a pleasure to be surrounded by so much lush, green foliage. We spent the afternoon having fun at the beach and an evening catching up.

Downtown Saint Augustine

The next day we visited downtown Saint Augustine where explorer Ponce DeLeon searched for the Fountain of Youth. St Augustine is charming and filled with history. We enjoyed a trolley tour around the downtown area. Flagler College is a landmark in the city center and its founder was Henry Flager of Standard Oil and the East Coast Railroad fame. Our trolley traveled along the river to Castillo de San Marcos, the oldest masonry fort in the contiguous US. Saint Augustine is a city of 14,000 but it felt like a lovely village to me. There are pedestrian-only streets lined with shops and restaurants. We were sad to leave but family duty called.

Back to Family in Hillsborough County

After our long holiday weekend, we headed back to Hillsborough County near Tampa. This time, we took the interstates and drove through Orlando. We live close to the Mouse House in CA. We have not visited very often because it is overwhelming for Miss Bee. To my relief, she expressed no interest in visiting Mickey in Florida.

During the next week, we got to work. We broke up our working days with shopping, nice dinners at my parent’s favorite local restaurants, and time on my father’s boat.  He launches in the Alafia River a mile from their home. We headed to the mouth of the river and out to Tampa Bay. This bay is so shallow that Judy and Miss Bee were able to jump down and walk on the bottom in waist-deep water. We headed to the electric plant where the warm water attracts manatees. We saw one but it swam away before we could photograph the gentle giant. Countless bird species inhabit the area.

Vacation Time in Sarasota and Anna Maria Island

Before we left Florida, I wanted Judy to see the difference between Tampa Bay and the Gulf of Mexico. As you drive south the water magically changes.  In order to see the aqua beauty of the Gulf driving south to Sarasota is necessary. We also drove out to Anna Maria Island. This island is pretty with spectacular beaches and homes. The sand is white, soft, and luxurious. In order to reach the island, we crossed several bridges over Palma Sola Bay. We headed back to Sarasota and met my parent’s friends for dinner. I have known them since I was a child. The ride out to the island and dinner was a lovely late afternoon break from the work.

Family Obligations Tackled in Tampa

My mom has macular degeneration that has caused blindness. We visited the Lighthouse, a wonderful organization that supports and trains the visually impaired. We enjoyed the sites of Tampa while on our way to the Lighthouse. It was helpful to be introduced to the products and services available to my mom.

The weather cooperated except on our day. It was warm, not hot with minimal humidity. We brought the good weather with us from California. Judy assisted me with my work and helped keep Miss Bee entertained at the same time. While I met with Lynn’s support team, Judy took Miss Bee shopping – her favorite activity. We stayed at my sister’s apartment and Miss Bee stayed with Grandma and Grandpa.

I am jealous of the amount of space my sister has for such a low rent. The California Regional Center system is for individuals with developmental disabilities and is a great resource for my daughter. I was pleasantly surprised about the support my sister is also receiving in Florida. I am proud of Lynn’s success. with living independently.

Old-Time Family Obligation Reserected  – Sort and Sell

We helped my parents sort through their plentiful belongings in the garage. We loaded up their van with the sell pile and headed out in the wee hours to a local flea market to sell as much as possible It was hot and exhausting and the profit was small but we managed to get rid of several boxes filled with years of accumulated stuff.

The Bugs

I had forgotten how itchy mosquito bites are and how awful Bug Repellant smells. When I moved to California I left the mosquitos behind. They found me again in Florida. We used up an entire tube of cortisone cream and a liquid dabbing pen trying to soothe the itch!

It is Possible to Meet Family Obligations While on Vacation

We accomplished most of my to-do list. Due to my parent’s ages and health the list was long.  Planning vacation time made this trip fun for Miss Bee. Having Judy travel with us was a necessity. Judy had never been to Florida before and traveling around like tourists made the trip worth it for her. I am grateful that despite Miss Bee’s icky teen behavior and grouchy attitude, Judy enjoys my daughter’s company. God Bless Her!!! Our vacation was fun despite the work. We learned that it is possible to meet our family obligations while on vacation. I look forward to returning to Florida again soon.

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