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Big Decisions Before Our Cross-Country Move

How we moved cross-country to Florida happened quickly. Relocating was always in the cards as I planned my retirement. The cost of living in Los Angeles and the increasingly horrible traffic made it easier to leave. Retiring happened sooner than expected due to the treatment of my son by our school district and my daughter’s increasing needs. Plan B included relocating after Miss Bee finished high school.

In April 2019, we visited my parents in Florida to assist them with paperwork, planning, and medical. I realized that they were going to need more help sooner than Plan B. Moving after the current school year was now under consideration.

Disability Services Across the Country

In order to create a new plan, I researched what was required to transfer Miss Bee’s developmental disability services from the Regional Center system in California to the State of Florida. Our post-adoption benefits would also be affected.

Developmental Disability benefits and services do not transfer between states. Despite already receiving these much-needed services, Florida has a year’s long waiting list. We are required to apply all over again. Miss Bee’s post-adoption benefits will be severely affected if Developmental Disability services are not back in place before her eighteenth birthday. Her seventeenth birthday was fast approaching.

Competing Needs and the Clincher

Another factor to move sooner rather than later was my mom’s rapidly declining my health. Then my father fell and broke his arm just below his shoulder. My mom is legally blind. My parents temporarily became the blind leading the blind. These were glimpses of what the future will bring. It was time to act. The term “sandwich generation” became my reality! Moving as soon as possible became the plan.

Our Plan

An additional benefit to relocating in the middle of the school year was transferring Miss Bee to a better school district for an extra semester. She will be settled in and ready to enjoy all the milestones that senior year will bring. Our California school district is terrific for typically learning students. But, it is a disaster for special education students. We faced deliberate exclusion, indifferent district administrators, and until recently, a vindictive and incompetent director of special education.

Salvaging Miss Bee’s education was my priority. We faced a future with a completely inappropriate adult program if we stayed in California. In order to ensure a better best outcome of the time Miss Bee had left in school, I retained an excellent advocate – Kelly Rain Collin from Healthy Minds Consulting. Kelly significantly improved Miss Bee’s California IEP, which is enforceable in Florida. I learned so much watching her in action. The expense and work paid off.

Mac is Moving Too

The timing was ideal for Mac. He completed his training programs in November at the Fort Simcoe Job Corps in Washington State. Much to my relief, Mac decided to relocate with us. I will forever be grateful for this excellent program. Mac learned how to operate and repair diesel machinery, such as bulldozers. He also earned his commercial (CDL) license and several endorsements.

Mac had the opportunity to also train and become a wildland firefighter. The Federal agencies borrow adult students from the Job Corps to fight fires with their training and supervision. He was a student Hot Shot. Mac loved it and is proud of his firefighting skills.

How We Packed

We prepared for bad weather since we were driving across the country in winter. Several years ago, we got caught in an ice storm on the way to Denver. Within minutes the interstate was a giant slip and slide. Overpasses were treacherous. Vehicles were sliding off the road. We found a rest area with a level exit. The interstate closed as we tucked in next to a tractor-trailer for the night. The van was loaded with basic necessities and we were safe.

Being prepared for any emergency was a priority during our upcoming road trip. We brought food, water, blankets, and safety items such as a knife, lighters, flashlights, paper maps, and Christmas gifts. The gas tank was filled when it reached half.  Fortunately, the weather was beautiful and there were no emergencies during the trip.

Other items we brought were important papers, Miss Bee’s high school and medical records, dog supplies, and kitchen items that were left. I used U-Haul shipping containers and hired movers to pack them properly for a long-haul. U-Haul was an economical and efficient option to move our stuff. Our containers arrived in Florida a week before they were due, and this worked out well.

Saying Goodbye

I spent years battling for my children’s rights with our school district. There were several fantastic teachers and Miss Bee’s aid whom we will miss terribly. Overall, leaving was a huge relief. Saying goodbye to Mychal’s Learning Place staff and students was much harder. Miss Bee attended their after-school program for four and a half years. They sent her off with a celebration. I too will miss the wonderful teachers. They taught Miss Bee with so many useful skills and provided their students’ wonderful adventures.

Saying goodbye to my Los Angeles friends and life was incredibly hard. I miss them all profoundly, but I know for sure that this move was the right decision.

Moving An Anxious Teen Across the Country

Traffic sent Miss Bee’s anxiety off the charts. She was miserable when our commute time home from her after-school program tripled. The thought of her riding in the car with Mac, the dogs, and I, gave me anxiety. I was afraid we wouldn’t make it to Arizona before I would have to leave her on the side of the road (just kidding).

A friend suggested that I find a kind soul who would be willing to host Miss Bee for a few days then accompany her on a flight. Judy volunteered for the job. She is beyond brave, and she regretted her decision. Judy persisted through Miss Bee’s awful moments and both arrived in one piece. I did not regret this plan for one minute and I owe Judy big time.

Christmas on December 28th

I took one afternoon off from packing and visited a few of my favorite LA spots. We could not decorate for the holidays this year therefore, I enjoyed others decorations. This afternoon would tide me over until we were together again to celebrate.

So Long Los Angeles

As is always the case with moving, our last morning was crazy. We had too many things to fit. The longer it took, the more impatient Mac became. We did our best and filled our vehicle AND the dumpsters to the brim. Dumpster divers were sure to score.

 

How Our Cross-Country Drive Began

Day One

We hit the road around 10:30 am in classic Los Angeles traffic style. Ninety miles took over two hours. The border of Arizona was looking better by the minute. I love road trips, and despite the traffic, we were happy to be on the road.

On day one, we made it just past Tucson, Arizona. The saguaro cacti in this area are spectacular. They are native to the Sonora Desert of Arizona and Mexico. They are so crucial to this area that a National Park protects them.

Day Two

We drove through the rest of Arizona and into beautiful New Mexico. We crossed into El Paso, Texas, in the late afternoon. Interstate ten is so close to the border that you can see Juarez, Mexico. The two sides of the interstate could not have been more different. It was a reminder to count my blessings. Once we were away from the city limits, the posted speed limit was 80. Lead Foot Mac LOVED Texas, but my nerves did not. 80 was the new 90 – UGH!

Central Texas at night is desolate and pitch black. There were no street lights or car lights anywhere. For some stretches, we were the only ones on the interstate. It was creepy. We stopped for the night in Sonora, Texas.

Motel 6 Does Keep the Lights On

We spent three nights in Motel 6’s. The rates are reasonable, and they allow dogs, no questions asked. Our service dogs Ned and Raven were with us. I find it much easier to stay in dog-friendly establishments. I don’t have to explain the laws. The rooms are somewhat standard in every state and were excellent for a quick night’s rest.

Day Three

It is true Texas goes on forever! Fortunately, I have a friend in San Antonio, and we stopped to visit for a change of scenery. It was great to see an old friend from California. Thank you E.L.

We arrived in Houston at rush hour. The traffic rivaled Los Angeles. I happened to be driving when Judy called. Driving in traffic trying to process the havoc Miss Bee was wreaking was the most challenging moment of the trip. FAS kicked Judy’s butt that day. We had to throw out the rules and expectations set for Miss Bee before I left, out the window. My friend Moe helped by picking Miss Bee up and giving Judy an overnight break.

Judy and I made changed it up. Living on the fly is often the nature of raising a disabled teen. To ensure that there were no more incidents, Judy did what it took on the path of least resistance. The goal was to get on the plane! Sometimes, throwing out the rules and routines is necessary to survive.

We made it to Louisiana and stopped for the night in Crowley.

Day Four

Fortunately, Mac was driving as we crossed over the Atchafalaya Basin in Louisiana.  This is the largest river swamp in the US. The road is, in essence, a very long bridge. Next was Mississippi.

Several hours later, we crossed into Alabama. The southern-most part of Alabama is narrow. We blinked, and before we knew it, we arrived in Florida two days ahead of schedule. Because it was Christmas Eve, I splurged, and we stayed in a nice hotel in Tallahassee.

 Our Cross-Country Move is Complete

A few more hours of driving on Christmas morning, and we arrived in the Saint Augustine area, our future home city. We checked into a hotel, called all of our extended family with Christmas greetings, and took a well-deserved nap. Our road trip from sea to shining sea took 43 driving hours and covered 2,548 miles. We left Saturday, 12/21, at 10:30 am and arrived on Wednesday, 12/25, at 1:00 pm. We were early enough to join our friends for Christmas dinner.

On December 26th, we moved into an Air BNB that would be our temporary home for the next ten days. Miss Bee and Judy arrived that afternoon.  We were all together again and we celebrated Christmas.

Finding a home was less complicated than expected. Registering Miss Bee for school went smoothly, and ironically, we moved into an area assigned to the best high school in the County for special education. This move was so much easier than I hoped.

Mac received a job offer after his first interview. He is working hard and learning how to be an adult little by little. Seven weeks later, we are settling into our new lives. This is how we moved cross-country.  New adventures await.